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  This is what happens when stick a bar of soap in the microwave

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  Visited my years old grandfather s cottage didn t know he got a huge bald eagle

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  It must be weird if your dad is a legend

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  So this smells like napalm in the morning

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  I was sweating bullets

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  Every time I break the perforation

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  So I let the guy who opened the door for me skip ahead in line and he does this

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  Today, I was in a market in France, and went to ask the seller for some potatoes. I speak fluent French, but I got flu

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  This was my mom when I was in high school

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  Seriously don t get upset about this