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  Today, I was in a market in France, and went to ask the seller for some potatoes. I speak fluent French, but I got flu

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  Every time I break the perforation

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  I like my pasta at a m

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  How old is that human being

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  This is what happens when stick a bar of soap in the microwave

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  The most tactful way I ve seen to deter hotel theft

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  So I let the guy who opened the door for me skip ahead in line and he does this

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  So this smells like napalm in the morning

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  That evil smile

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  To those few women who do this