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  I don t always talk to girls I like

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  Visited my years old grandfather s cottage didn t know he got a huge bald eagle

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  So I let the guy who opened the door for me skip ahead in line and he does this

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  I m proving her right every time

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  Oh look even pigs have more fun than I do

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  I wish this scene was in the movie

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  I like my pasta at a m

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  The most tactful way I ve seen to deter hotel theft

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  Yeah man I make pepperoni dicks all day

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  So you made a small purchase from Amazon