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  So I let the guy who opened the door for me skip ahead in line and he does this

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  I was sweating bullets

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  That evil smile

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  Sums up my entire philosophy on relationships

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  The most tactful way I ve seen to deter hotel theft

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  Oh look even pigs have more fun than I do

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  It must be weird if your dad is a legend

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  Poor Aquaman

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  So I got my licence today

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  This is what happens when stick a bar of soap in the microwave