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  Yeah man I make pepperoni dicks all day

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  Oh look even pigs have more fun than I do

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  The most tactful way I ve seen to deter hotel theft

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  Today, I was in a market in France, and went to ask the seller for some potatoes. I speak fluent French, but I got flu

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  It must be weird if your dad is a legend

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  I was sweating bullets

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  I don t remember this Arthur book

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  Visited my years old grandfather s cottage didn t know he got a huge bald eagle

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  So this smells like napalm in the morning

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  Seriously don t get upset about this